"Do you love me? that much " so he asked me.

What went thru his mind, I was clueless about it. I totally didn't know how to answer his question cause that coming from him was the last thing in my mind.

So I answered, "Yes I think."

"You think?" he asked.

"Yes I do." I reassured.

What was he thinking? with that question? I for one do not believe in love. So do I love him? I like him instead.

We ended up talking about us. I ended up asking, "Do you wanna date me?"

My sister ended up asking him the same question. So you see, he has the choice to say, no. but instead..

"Not yet." is his answer.

why not let it pass and say no? why save me? at that point of moment where I can take any answer you give to me?

So it went on. We decided. DECIDED. to be in this bloody relationship together.

on Tuesday night, you decided to BACK OUT. how very awesome of you.

"I don't want to have a girlfriend."
"I don't want to be tied down with seriousness."
"I don't want to be in a relationship with or without a name."


I can't wake up it seems. No matter how much I tried covering myself up with blankets, there's a a certainty that I'm not safe at all. I wanted to seriously know what happen. I wanted to know that what I'm feeling is not a joke to him. Don't want to be in a relationship, I'm fine by it but why decide to be in it then back out? COWARD much?

You are nice. You help me gain confidence that I can do things that I thought I can't, you stood by me when I needed someone, you believe in me... but what you did now, is already going against whatever I believed in you. Twins be twins. I could no longer look at you with such sincerity.

10 painkillers and 24 hours of sleep later, I still couldn't get up. I was in my worst state possible. All I could think of was how to let this pass. Should I sleep again? Should I just .. do anything to not feel this pain. When I wake up, I keep wondering whether is it a dream and hopefully it was but it wasn't. It was pathetic to feel such a way, but I couldn't feel any better.

You can't decide. You can't stand. Come to think of it, you are neither a man nor a woman.
Don't do things to hurt people, really. You are certainly not .. as of age. I'm not relying on you. Set yourself straight.

Now I'm writing, it may not be wisest thing to do, but it's the only thing that could make me feel better. I decided to do nothing about it because there is really nothing. All he could ask me was "Don't you care about my feelings too?" that's the only way he could end it and he's always asking the same question. "Don't you care about my feelings too?" I may be petty.

I always believe that guys are the ones who always had the hardest. I believe they feel worst than girls. I believe guys too should be considered. They have feelings too. Their feelings, should be cared. They shouldn't be played around just because they are guys. Girls should never push all the blames to guys.

but when girls do decide to consider their feelings, they become... nothing.


I wonder, what he's doing right now. What is on his mind? is he feeling good?

Comment box here, if any.