wait, now I don't get. what did I do again?

you were feeling down, so I tried to cheer you up, and I have no idea what happen in between that made you chase me out of your life. now, I apologized if I ever hurt your feelings or so, but I don't get. out of so many people, why am I the one who you decide to chase out?

you talked about me. the only thing you see are my bad. nothing of good. well, yeah, maybe I have none. I'm not awesome, truly a bad person to be friends with and on top of that I seem to have the power to turn everyone against me. I accept every criticism because only from that I will learn how people see me. I'm not perfect, not nice, not that kind, not that pretty, not that understanding but I did try.. I'm human. I, apparently, unfortunately, do have feelings too.

so, I can't act the way I want to around you because only you who seems to be too sensitive of everything I do. What do you want me to do? SMILE ALL DAY?! Is that what you want? I'm not irritated, I'm not annoyed, but I can't smile all the time. as pleasant as it seem. What part of I'm not annoyed, I love you around me, I want you around me, don't leave, that you don't seem to understand?

I asked my friends, when I decide to shout "SHUT UP!" when they seem annoying at that point of time, would it hurt their feelings. They said no, so I asked again, are you sure, they seriously said no, because they know I'm just jokingly smiling and know that they are being slightly annoying. On top of that, they shouted at me too when I annoy them. I may not understand because you don't seem to want to tell me, but why do you have to act differently?

I may not be important to you at all whatsoever, but I freaking want to tell you that you are IMPORTANT TO ME. I can't function properly without you. My day won't go on smoothly without me wishing you "Good Morning". I can't end my day properly without talking to you or ranting to you about the slightest annoyance in my life. I'm NEVER annoyed at you. I can never be annoyed or angry or disappointed at you. I'm just annoyed that I don't spend enough time with you. I'm just annoyed that I can't impress you at all no matter what I do. I'm just annoyed that I can't be a good enough singer for you to be proud of. I'm not good as her who you admire so much. I'm so annoyed that I'm close to nobody right now.

yes, I'm not a good person, never a good person. Never a good friend and I don't blame you for hating me right now.

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